Time's turning around

Listening to Tool.
Things are changing around me and I cannot keep up with the pace. Have you ever felt that one more instant and you will be shaken off the face of this planet because you're slow, useless being will loose the gravity because it's not needed here? Well known fact - Earth's circumference is 40000km/25000miles. That is - if you walk from the point where you sit and around the planet following the imaginary line in front of you you'll have to make around 48.000.000 steps. Consider if you make 10.000 steps per day...damn, that's 48.000 days of walking. It's like 2 lifetimes of walking...Sorry, got distracted with calculations :) The point is, HOW FAR will you fly away if you suddenly loose the gravity?) This better be outdoors...I would not want to experience it now here in a cafe house :) I don't want to speculate too much here, but sometimes I feel that my contribution to this place is so small...like tiny winy...But from the other hand, we are all inspired by the big shots, right? Beethoven, Salk, Jagger, Mendeleev, Bach, Tesla, Liszt...these guys lived grand. And, yeah, most of the west lives in this democratic delusion that everything is possible if you JUST FUCKING WISH IT. The formula - sit your ass on the chair and work yourself through the debris of creation, cuz you know that the level you need to achieve is so damn high that you don't even see the top. You have a wall to climb and there are your fellows climbing next to you. You have a choice - you climb fast and leave most of them behind, or you climb slow (ALWAYS) and stay with your friends, loved ones etc...It's easy - IF YOU WANT TO BE GRAND YOU'LL BE ALONE FOR A LONG TIME. It's good if you met a girl/guy who will love you whatever what and stay with you through this period of self-development that does not have any prospect - just a belief. Yeah, we all believe in something. Those, who don't really care about the above, believe in supernatural stuff, those who really do stuff believe in THIS STUFF. Music, web-design, architecture, feelings...whatever you choose...but the LEVEL that Ferenc Liszt achieved. You know, I play guitar. And I used to play like 9 hours per day when I had time during school, but now I have no time, so it's like 10 hours per week max. It's not enough and I feel it, but do I spend my time on important stuff? NO. I work 6-7 hours per day like everyone else (I mean productive work). 24-7-8 = 9. Approximately 9 hours per day to pick up with the speed to become grand. Ok, I go and play guitar now. Oh, wait a minute...I need to meet my gal in 30 mins. Ok I play later. Shit I forgot to go to the bank and cancel my card. Damn, I need to call my mom. The phone rings - oh, hey bro, how are you? Yeah, let's meet for a drink. Baby, are we going to that homecoming party tomorrow? Damn, I forgot, but yeah, we promised. Movie on the weekend? Sure, I wanna see that terrific effects in Transformers 3...have you read that book? no, Paulo Colelhio? Will read it.
You know what...I'm asking myself one question everyday that makes me wanna puke at times: "Dude, have you learned something today that will make your life better?" The answer is NO after most of the days and the reason why the feeling is so bitter is - 9 FUCKING HOURS that you can use to do it and the only thing that keeps you away is YOUR LIFE IN THE PRESENT TIME that will NEVER change if you keep enabling it. I'm slowly turning it around now...very slowly, because you cannot simply say to all of your friends and family that they should leave you alone and let you do your stuff. This is arrogant and selfish, do you agree? BUT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY, especially if you have a mediocre talent for something and you need twice as much time to get to the good level than, say, Bach. I don't believe that bullshit about LAZYNESS...Most of the people are not lazy to the extent when they don't do what they want to do. Most of the talented people don't get support from the ones who surround them because those people are NOT capable to see their raw talent that has to be developed.
So, sorry guys, but you won't see me as often as before, cuz I decided to change the course a little. One year left to become a rock star and die of overdose to join Jimmy :) hahaha. Joking. I love life and I cannot let anything hold me back even if that's my best friends. Wish me luck...because that will be the 10000 time I'm trying that. You know...I'll start new life on Monday, will eat healthy, read a book per week, learn another foreign language etc...
Good luck to you to. Don't let the guilt, fear and prejudice affect you to the extent where you loose your way.

D.